There Goes the Neighborhood...

I hereby declare this Bursa Appreciation Week! Why? Because, for once, I'm glad I'm not in Istanbul. I like to stay as far away from religious conflict as possible. Then why'd I move here from California? (scratching own head)

The pope will begin his four day visit to Turkey tomorrow. So?

Allright, so maybe you don't care. The truth is I really don't care. I just feel like I have to blog this because I'm in Turkey and this is some big event in the middle of this West vs. MidEast rumble going on. So, whatever, here's a quick rundown: Awhile back this Greek Orthodox Patriarch, Bartholomew guy, invited this Pope Benedict guy to Istanbul to talk about getting the eastern and western Christians back together. Then the Pope guy made a speech in Germany where he quoted this medieval Byzantine guy who talked shit about Islam and the Prophet Mohammed, calling them evil and stuff. The question is (or wasn't if you ask well, anybody, what exactly the Pope said, because they probably don't know): was it the Pope's real feelings or was it just taken out of context? Regardless, Turkey's Chief of Religious Affairs and cleric guy, Ali Bardakoglu, got pissed off. Then Muslims all over the world got pissed off. Then the Pope decided to come to Turkey anyway and 25,000 went out on the streets Sunday and got...well...more pissed off and said stuff like "Papa Gelmesin," which either means "Pope, don't come!" or "Papa Don't Preach," by Madonna.

Oh boy.

So tomorrow he comes to Istanbul, where the Prime Minister may or may not visit him at the airport with a "Pope Benedict" sign. Then he will go to Ankara (the capital) and meet the President and Ali Bardakoglu. On Wednesday, he'll go to mass in Ephesus, where St. John brought to Mary to be sent to heaven. Then, he'll visit the Blue Mosque and the Bartholomew guy. Hey, this actually sounds like a fun trip. On Thursday, it's to Istanbul and the Aya Sophia, once the greatest Church in the world, then a mosque and since 1935, a museum. They say if he prays and crosses himself before entering people are gonna seriously freak out.

There goes the neighborhood.

But thank (insert divine name here) for the precautions! “The security measures being taken for the Pope in Turkey are higher than taken for George W Bush,” said Turkey's Foreign Minister, Abdullah Gul. Wow, the highest security measures suggest you're hated more than Dubya. That's quite the accomplishment. Regarding the security measures, here are some bullet points, no pun intended:

*3 different routes are prepared from the Istanbul airport to the city center.
*Certain roads will be closed to traffic in Istanbul.
*12,000 police deployed in Istanbul along with rooftop snipers.
*750 extra riot police from other provinces will be sent to Istanbul for back-up.
*Nearly 3 thousand policemen deployed during the 20-hour stay in Ankara.
*All roads on the Pope's route will be periodically patrolled with explosive detectors.
*The Pope will be protected by Turkish and his own personal bodyguards.
*A vehicle escorting the Pope will be equipped with frequency-mixing devices.
*A special forces team stationed at Ankara’s Esenboga Airport and an extensive operation to scan for explosives carried out.

You know, that all seems really serious. Here, let's lighten up a little. I mean, after all, it was just something he said, whatever it was.

"There's a lot of tension in the world. Over the weekend, Pope Benedict apologized to the Muslims. Altar boys, on the other hand, are still waiting for their apology." --David Letterman


"Last week at Germany's University of Regensburg, which as you know is a safety school, Pope Benedict gave an address in which he discussed Islam's concept of jihad by quoting 14th century Byzantine emperor Manuel Paleologos II. You know if you're going to make a wholesale generalization, say it in German. It gives it that extra 'oomph." --Jon Stewart

"The Vatican has increased protection around the Pope. How ironic is that -- A Catholic using protection?" --Jay Leno

"Muslims all over the world are rioting because they are upset with the Pope. Again, I don't think President Bush understands these issues. Like today, he said, 'These Muslims, why can't they ask themselves what would Jesus do?" --Jay Leno

"In the West Bank a group calling itself the Lions of Monotheism fire bombed four churches, telling the Associated Press the attacks were carried out to protest the Pope's remarks linking Islam and violence. The irony of the statement, and this is often the case we find, was lost on them." --Jon Stewart

above photo: Aya Sophia, Istanbul